Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Area Music Fan Totally Confused, Disillusioned By Utah Jazz Name, Logo

Salt Lake City, UT (Nov. 21) - Local music fan Stuart Ferency is reportedly "confused and disillusioned" about the use of the word "jazz" in the name and logo of his city's National Basketball Association franchise.

"I don't know what to make of it," Ferency said as he left his neighborhood Media Play, having just bought some John Coltrane and Count Basie CDs. "A friend asked me a couple weeks ago if I wanted to go see the Utah Jazz play, and I was intrigued," Ferency, a self-described non-sports fan, said. "So we go the the concert -- or what I thought was a concert -- and there's all this basketball going on."

Ferency said after nearly an hour of the offending sport, he asked his friend "when the music is going to start."

Stuart Ferency returns home after a perplexing hour of watching the Utah Jazz play basketball; he had thought he was attending a concert

After some initial laughter from the friend that turned into an uncomfortable, nervous chuckle once he realized Ferency was serious, Ferency shook his head and left the arena.

"I'm thinking of suing for false advertising," he said as he skidaddled to his Ford Focus.

Ferency's friend and basketball game accomplice, Sean Gilbert, said he tried to explain to Ferency the Jazz's history.

"I was like, 'Dude, this is our BASKETBALL team'," Gilbert said when reached by phone yesterday evening. "I could tell he was confused. So I told him of how the Jazz came to Utah."

But after only 30 seconds of his explanation, Gilbert stopped.

The Utah Jazz logo, which has confounded many

"Even I couldn't believe it, to be honest with you," he said.

The Jazz were known, more appropriately, as the New Orleans Jazz from 1974-1979, before the franchise moved to Salt Lake City. Yet the team kept the name Jazz, even though Salt Lake City isn't known for music at all, let alone jazz.

Then there was the matter of the logo, according to Gilbert.

"I tried like five times to start a sentence describing the logo," Gilbert said, "but it was pretty much useless trying to validate that sorry ass piece of sh*t design," he added of the logo, which splays the word "jazz" across snow-covered mountains.

"When was the last time you made a connection between jazz and freaking mountains?," Gilbert said. "No wonder the dude was trippin'," he said, referring to Ferency.

Gilbert's troubles don't end with Ferency.

"I have a little cousin who lives in Minnesota," Gilbert said. "And he's been asking me why they call the hockey team 'the Wild.'


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