Area Man Sees Michigan Football Coaching Job On Monster.com, Eagerly Awaits Interview

Is Buoyed By Rejections by Miles, Schiano

Ann Arbor, MI (Dec. 7) - Local resident and unemployed data entry clerk Jeremy Robbins is encouraged by the recent rejections by Les Miles and Greg Schiano of the University of Michigan coaching job, which he applied for on the Internet job search engine Monster.com.

"Hey, the less competition the better," Robbins said after hearing of the "NOs" given by LSU coach Miles and Rutgers coach Schiano this week. "I submitted my resume and cover letter on Monday. I then received confirmation that I applied, which I saved into a folder I created called 'Job Search', " Robbins told reporters.

Robbins, 26, who admits his candidacy is "light" on football coaching experience, nonetheless considers that his chances "just got a whole lot better" now that once-proud Michigan has been turned down by two big-name coaches.

"The way I figure it, they (U-M) might want to end the embarrassment and just settle for someone cheaper and who's likely to say yes," Robbins theorized.

Robbins, whose football experience includes a year on junior varsity at Ann Arbor Pioneer High School and "significant" flag football in intramurals, listed as his coaching experience "calling plays" for his Strat-o-Matic tabletop football league, of which he's the "coach" of the 1997 Indianapolis Colts.


U-M coaching candidate Jeremy Robbins

"But mainly I watch a lot of football and can tell you, pretty much, what's going to happen at any given time," Robbins says.

Friends and associates aren't quick to dismiss Robbins's candidacy. In fact, some think he might be a good fit for the legendary school.

"Really? He did?," friend Brian Conacher said when told of Robbins's mouse click, which sent his resume and cover letter to the e-mail "in" box of U-M Athletic Director Bill Martin, via Monster.com's server. "Well good for him. Jeremy's got a more wide-open offensive philosophy than (retiring coach) Lloyd Carr. I think Michigan needs more excitement. Jeremy provides that."

Fellow Strat-o-Matic leaguer Aaron Hawkins echoed Conacher's endorsement.

"If nothing else, Jeremy puts his all into everything," Hawkins said. "I can definitely see him working 70, 80 hours a week -- sleeping in the office, the whole nine yards."

Another friend, Skip Hinton, said Robbins would run a program that would be "clean as a whistle."

"Michigan would have no worries with Jeremy," Hinton said. "No recruitment violations. The worse thing he might do would be maybe play too much Madden on Playstation with a recruit, and lose track of time."

Robbins worked as a data entry clerk for an Ann Arbor publishing company for two years, before a slow-down in business led to his layoff in April.

"Man, you don't know how many resumes I've put out there," he said. "Time to think outside the box a bit."

College football observers were mildly surprised, but not shocked, that the Michigan job ended up on Monster.com.

"After their no. 1 candidate, Miles, turned them down, I suspect Michigan wanted to cover all bases," said analyst Lee Corso. "What better way to attract 'diamonds in the rough' than with an Internet posting?"

Sources close to the search say that as of Thursday, the university had received over 200 applications from the Monster.com posting. That doesn't discourage Robbins.

"My cousin, who's a writer, helped me with my cover letter," Robbins said. "And my sister helped me with the resume. She really made me look better than I am. But what the hell? Everyone does it."

Robbins said if Michigan doesn't call, he "has tons more applications out there." But, he added, "I'm local, I'll work cheap, and does Michigan really want to get rejected again?"

Notre Dame To Field All Walk-Ons Against Air Force

South Bend, IN (Nov. 7) - Inspired by the movie "Rudy", Notre Dame football coach Charlie Weis announced that his roster will be filled entirely with never-say-die walk-ons when the Fighting Irish take on Air Force this Saturday.

"We have a group of 65 young men whose dream it is to play football for Notre Dame University," Weis said after running the collection of dreamers thru a non-grueling, 15-minute practice. "Well, I'm proud to give them their chance, this Saturday."

"Rudy" was the story of Rudy Ruettiger, a walk-on who eventually lived his fantasy and appeared in a game for Notre Dame.

Weis said the regular players would "sit this one out," and watch from the stands. In order to satisfy NCAA rules, Weis suspended every player for "conduct detrimental to the team."

To make it official, Weis listed the detrimental conduct as "being 1-8."

"This will be the feel-good story of the year," predicted longtime ND booster Sean O'Hallaran, at a local pub that shares his last name. "When those 65 ragamuffins take the field ...," O'Hallaran continued, before becoming overcome with emotion.

Weis said the roster would be divided this way: 23 pre-med students, 17 theatre majors, 11 alumni with college eligibility left (including one 42-year-old plumber), 7 resident advisors, 5 ROTC members, and 2 undeclared majors whose names are Rudy.

"Just to be safe -- and authentic," Weis explained about the two Rudys.

Weis acknowledged that he would have to cut the playbook down dramatically in order to provide a "comfort level" for starting quarterback Elliott Nusbaum, a 37-year-old ND alumnus and South Bend dentist. Despite his medical degree and dental license, Nusbaum has two weeks of eligibility remaining, due to a technicality.

"I like Elliott's arm," Weis said of the dentist, "but he's not very mobile. In fact, he's damn near a statue in the pocket. But by God, I like that man's attitude."

Weis heaped praise on his group of eager but mostly untalented players.

"Rudy's story was one of perseverance and the triumph of desire over ability," the coach said, his voice raising. "He couldn't play a lick, but oh how he tried. I've got 65 men who probably couldn't win an intramural game of flag football, but they'll give me everything they've got."

Weis said he plans on adding about 25 more walk-ons later in the week, in anticipation of losing scores of players due to horrific, gruesome injuries.

"There's no limit as to how many we can dress for home games," Weis explained. "So I think we'll dress 90 on Saturday, just to be safe."

Weis said Air Force might be confused by the scalawag ND roster, which would play into his team's hands.

"They (Air Force) won't have any film on these men, don't forget," Weis said.

That's not totally accurate. There does exist some home movies of Nusbaum as a 16-year-old high school junior, in some mop-up quarterback duty. Weis felt compelled to turn the movies over to the Air Force coaches, "Just to keep my conscience clear," he said.

According to Notre Dame officials, the walk-ons will be presented with their "authentic" uniforms at a special pep rally on campus Friday night. Ruettiger will be in attendance and will address the crowd.

"I get to live a dream," Nusbaum said via phone as he worked on an impacted molar.

But the new Fighting Irish QB is taking his unexpected opportunity seriously.

"Coach let me take home some film (of Air Force)," Nusbaum said. "I think they might bite on a pump fake."