Friday, February 13, 2009

Favre: I Actually Retired Last November; Couldn't You Tell?

New York, NY (Feb. 13) - Quarterback Brett Favre expressed surprise that he had to formally announce his second retirement yesterday, telling reporters that he thought everyone knew he had quit last November.

"Wasn't it obvious?," Favre said with a derisive smirk. "I mean, look at the numbers."

The New York Jets went 1-4 over their last five games in 2008, with Favre throwing more interceptions than touchdown passes.

"I retired after our 11th game last year," Favre said, shrugging and making bemused faces. "What's the big news here? OK, you want an announcement? I retire. There," he said before turning to a bystander and rolling his eyes.

Former Jets coach Eric Mangini, now with Cleveland, corraborated Favre's assertion.

"Yeah, Brett retired when he said he did," Mangini said. "He announced it in the john while we were taking a piss after practice. He said, 'Coach, I'm done.' Then he shook off and left."

Mangini said he kept starting Favre, despite his retirement, because "that's the way Brett wanted it. He didn't want a big long tour or anything. He just wanted to end like all old quarterbacks do -- with shitty numbers and a gross degradation of skills."

Favre added yesterday that his performance in the Jets' final five games, post-retirement, should have made it "obvious to everyone" that he had hung up his spikes for good.

"Geez, I thought y'all would have caught on," he said, continuing to express amazement at the stupidity and lack of observation from the media. "I can't believe I have to spell it out for you. I quit, OK? Christ!"

New Jets coach Rex Ryan said that, while he hadn't spoken to Favre yet, he's hopeful that he can talk the 39-year-old out of retirement again.

"I'd love to have Brett back," Ryan said. "It's just not the NFL without Brett Favre haphazardly throwing the football all over the Goddamned field and breaking his own team's spirit.

"I'm looking forward to gouging my own eyes out over his reckless play," Ryan added in a statement released by the team.