Friday, May 23, 2008

Momentum Tired Of Being Fought Over, Spoken For

Los Angeles, CA. (May 23) - Making a rare public appearance, Momentum emerged near the Staples Center to air some beefs with surprised reporters yesterday.

"I'm tired of athletes speaking for me," a visibly agitated Momentum said. The impelling force, constantly fought over by sports teams, has had enough. "Everyone says they 'have' me or that I've 'swung' in their direction. How do they know? Really -- how the hell do they KNOW?"

Momentum also chided the TV and radio announcers.

"They may be the worst, actually," Momentum said, decked out in its geophysical form. "Who's got the momentum? Oh, better not lose the momentum! Oh, that call could have changed the momentum! God, they're such bleating asses!"

Momentum (above) appears unannounced to decry treatment of itself

The infinitesimal change in a varying quantity; an increment or decrement, added that he has no idea how the infatuation with his whereabouts and direction got started.

"But it's got to stop," he said. "I'm living in a fish bowl here, and I'm tired of it."

Momentum did add, however, that he's never been associated with the Los Angeles Clippers, Detroit Lions, or the Italian Army -- and rejects any hints to the contrary as being "offensive."

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