Wednesday, May 14, 2008

MLB To Change "Ejected" To "Coxed"

New York, NY. (May 14) - In an effort to properly recognize Atlanta Braves manager Bobby Cox and his status as the most-ejected manager in major league history, baseball commissioner Bud Selig announced that, effective immediately, the term "being ejected" will now be referred to as "getting Coxed."

"It's the least we can do," Selig said at a press conference yesterday. "Bobby Cox is one of the biggest whiners and bitchers in baseball history, and this office feels we need to acknowledge that.

"So, effective immediately, I've asked all Major League personnel -- from umpires to broadcasters to our night watchman -- to refer to the act of a manager or player being asked to leave a game as 'getting or being Coxed'," Selig said.

Cox gets Coxed recently

Cox, who's been Coxed from nearly 150 games in his career, became emotional as he discussed the honor prior to last night's Braves game.

"It really took me by surprise," Cox said in the dugout. "I mean, to know that all of my crybaby antics and tantrums are now being etched into baseball history in this manner ...," Cox added before getting choked up.

Umpire Doug Eddings, who's Coxed Cox five times in his career, said, "It's a fine and appropriate tribute to one of the game's biggest assholes. Good for him."

Cox, in the third inning, thanked Eddings for his comments as he argued a close play at first base, before telling the arbiter to "Go f*** himself." Cox was promptly Coxed shortly thereafter.

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