Friday, April 11, 2008

Struggling NHL To Change Name Of Sport To "Arena Hockey"

New York, NY. (Apr. 11) - The National Hockey League, taking a cue from the success of the indoor version of American football, plans to call itself Arena Hockey next season.

"Clearly, the Arena Football League (AFL) has been able to ride on the coattails of the NFL for over a decade now," said NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman at a press conference yesterday -- which was purposely held in a local hockey arena called Madison Square Garden to emphasize the symbolism of the league's new direction. "So why can't the NHL ride on the coattails of the AFL?"

Under the new plan, the NHL will now be known by the acronym AH. Bettman explained that the NHL couldn't change to AHL, because that name's already taken by the American Hockey League, a minor league affiliate who would only change if the NHL "ponied up some dough", which it was unable to do.

"Plus, it's easier to say 'Ah,'" Bettman added.

Bettman said that new logos, licensed apparel, and stationery will soon be introduced denoting the league's name change.

Computer-generated peek at what Arena Hockey might look like, according to an image released yesterday by the NHL

AH will also introduce some rules changes to more accurately reflect what Bettman called "the rough-and-tumble, in-your-face nature of the game's new arena version." Those changes will include bodychecking into the boards, players sitting on benches behind the boards, and the option of ricocheting the puck off the boards in order to advance it. When it was pointed out to Bettman that those things already exist in the soon-to-be defunct NHL, Bettman glared at the reporter and said, "Shut up."

The AH will begin play in October with 30 franchises, in towns such as Montreal, New York, Boston, Calgary, and 26 others.

1 comment:

mat young said...

what is it with large american corporations? why do they feel the need to fix something that isn't broken? another sucky suck suck name.... i mean ah come on??? maybe it is becuase the american ego is broken.... a = American h = Hockey... sigh.... i fail to see how a multi million dollar name change (i could do the logo for thousands - maybe even £500...)- one word sums it all up... Meh...

Mats (now) Estranged Hockey