Friday, March 14, 2008

Guy Down The Aisle At Clippers Game Just Got Up AGAIN, Others In Aisle Report

Los Angeles, CA (Mar. 14) - Ticketholders in row 24, section 214A at the Staples Center have reported "that guy down the aisle just got up AGAIN," forcing everyone to stand up to let him through.

The complaint comes with 5:22 left in the third quarter of the Los Angeles Clippers' game against the Golden State Warriors.

"That guy...I can't believe he's getting up AGAIN," an exasperated Gary Collins, 34, told friends.

The guy, some overweight, clumsy dude in his 30s, has gotten up "way too many times" to suit the other ticketholders in his aisle.

"I can see a couple times, you know for going to the bathroom or getting something to eat or whatever, but this guy is like, off the charts!" according to Diane Friesen, 41, who's attending the game with her husband and two children.

The ticketholders think the guy might have "some sort of condition or something."

Looking up at the scoreboard, that guy gets up again

"Maybe he can't hold it," said Kyle Overton, sitting three seats to the guy's left. "But at the same time, he only came back with something to drink once. So I don't know."

Witnesses say the guy came back once with popcorn and a soft drink, once with a game program, and several times with nothing at all.

"All I know is, he's so f***ing big that when he comes by, it's not enough to just stand," said Collins. "You have to like, turn your body and squeeze yourself against your seat to let the dude through. And even then, his elbows and gut rub against you.

"He's like the jack-in-the-box from hell," Collins added.

The fans in the guy's row "can't wait" for the game to be over, or for him to "kiel over in the bathroom or something", in order for their game-long nightmare to end.

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