Friday, March 28, 2008

Canseco's Next Book To Reveal That He Just Went Around Injecting People With Steroids

New York, NY (Mar. 28) - Retired baseball slugger Jose Canseco announced that his next book project will chronicle how he "just went around injecting people" with steroids and human growth hormone (HGH).

The project, which holds a working title of Me and My Needle, will be released in time for the holidays, and will reveal how Canseco, eager to share the benefits of steroids and HGH with as many people as possible, went on an "injecting spree" throughout the 1990s.

"This next book will be a prequel," Canseco explained, speaking from the offices of Simon Spotlight Entertainment, which published Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars and the Battle to Save Baseball, Canseco's newest book, which is to be released Monday. "In this new book, I'll tell how it all started -- my love affair with the needle. About how I just couldn't get big enough, fast enough. About how I shared the joys of altering my body's natural chemistry and severely reducing the size of my testicles with others, through the intoxicating allure of the steroid needle."

Canseco said he decided to work on the new project because "staining baseball's name just started getting boring to me." With the new book, Canseco says he "can open up a whole new world of unsuspecting people to slander."

Canseco will explain in the new book how he would carry syringes with him "everywhere", and inject people when they weren't looking.

"In the neck, in the arm, behind the ear, on the buttocks -- my needle went into all sorts of different people in all sorts of different areas," Canseco said.

When asked to explain how he could have injected people's buttocks' without their knowledge, Canseco grinned, winked, and said, "You'll see, this holiday season."

The general population, which figures to be possibly implicated in Canseco's next project, had no comment beyond a terse statement released thru its publicist.

"We have no comment about anything Mr. Canseco says at this time," the people said. "We're going to reserve comment until we see a copy of the book. It's our belief that we were not ever injected by Mr. Canseco with any sort of steroids or HGH. And if we were, then we deny it."

No comments: