Monday, June 2, 2008

WNBA Allowed To Play Another Season As Long As They "Clean Up After Themselves"

New York, NY. (Jun. 2) - The National Basketball Association has apparently allowed the womens version, aka the WNBA, to play its 11th season -- as long as it "cleans up after itself and promises to put everything back the way they found it", according to NBA management.

"Look, it's only fair," said NBA spokesman Larry Lariviere as he announced that the WNBA has, indeed, begun another season. "All that we require is that if the WNBA is going to use NBA arenas, that they pick up after themselves. Is that too much to ask?"

Plastic signs with "Your mother doesn't work here" and "I'm not your maid", with the NBA logo on them, have begun to appear in WNBA locker rooms.

Just Saturday, New York Liberty coach Pat Coyle was scolded for "all this tape!" and "how many times have I told you where the basketballs go?" after a team practice, by NBA Director of Building Operations Charles Pugh.

"He (Pugh) was pretty pissed," Coyle admitted of his dressing down. "I thought the tape had been thrown out, but I think Ashley Battle missed the trash can," Coyle sighed.

The NBA has apparently told the WNBA that, in 2008, it will take a "zero tolerance" approach when it comes to building maintenance.

"If we've told them once, we've told them a thousand times: when you're done with the Gatorade jugs, dump them down the drain in the utility room. I mean, HELLO?," added Lariviere. "And if I hear of one more rolled up program wedged between seats I'm going to scream."

Other edicts include making sure the lights get turned off, no car left in the parking lots overnight, and putting the dry erase markers in their proper places.

"Simple stuff," said Lariviere. "It's nothing more than we'd ask of ourselves."

The WNBA will be re-evaluated in about a month, at which time, Lariviere said, it will be determined if the womens league is "taking all this seriously, like their big brother does."

Until then, the games will continue -- as long as that one storage closet doesn't get left open for the "billionth" time.

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