Monday, June 9, 2008

Cubs Fans: No, Really -- What Have You Done With Our Team?

Chicago, IL. (Jun. 9) - Long-suffering fans of the Chicago Cubs have indicated that they're tired of this little practical joke that's being played out and would like to know -- SERIOUSLY -- what has happened to their team.

"OK, it was cute for awhile, but this has gone on long enough," said fan Jeremy Spachtel, 36, of Evanston, Ill. yesterday. Spachtel spoke tiredly of the 2008 Cubs and their NL-leading record of 40-24. "It's like, we get it -- ha-ha, wouldn't it be funny if the Cubs led the league -- but enough, already! Let's just bring our real team back and get back to normal."

Spachtel is just one of a growing number of Cubs faithful who are weary of the season-long joke being played on them and their emotions.

Cubs fans want a return to normalcy as soon as possible, as depicted here

"This is getting really repetitive and monotonous, all this winning," said Richard Gruber, a Cubs fan since "the Ernie Banks days" who's been waiting for the revelation of the joke's source and punch line since "early-May." Gruber said that he, like a lot of Cubs fans who've rooted for the team through decades of losing baseball, doesn't particularly care for the joke.

"It's like when they pretend some ugly girl is pretty and they make a big deal over how 'beautiful' she is, when it's so obvious that she isn't. I mean, after awhile doesn't that just make fun of the ugly girl? I think so. So all this winning Cubs baseball -- it's only making cruel fun of our suffering," Gruber added.

The Cubs, led by manager Lou Piniella, have combined clutch hitting, good defense, and decent pitching along with a confident attitude to leapfrog over everyone in the National League. And their supporters say enough is enough.

"Who are they kidding?" asked celebrity fan and actor Bill Murray. "I'm in the comedy business and I know that the cardinal sin of comedy is drawing a joke out too long. This is a classic example. Bring back our lovable, bumbling Cubs!" Murray said at an impromptu gathering outside Wrigley Field, flanked by fellow actors Jim Belushi and George Wendt.

Cubs spokesman Jim Gerrity said that the current edition of the team is "genuine" and that "no joke is being played out -- honest."

But Gruber isn't convinced. "Look, the fact that they came out with that statement is, in of itself, a joke. Now they're just f***ing with us."

Perhaps Spachtel said it best.

"It's just not funny anymore. Period."

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