Monday, February 18, 2008

Nets, Mavericks Try To Hammer Out New Kidd Deal, Then Say "Just Screw It"

East Rutherford, NJ (Feb. 18) - The New Jersey Nets and Dallas Mavericks, after trying for several days to consummate a trade involving Nets point guard Jason Kidd, have scrapped the whole thing.

"Screw it. Just screw it," a visibly agitated Nets GM Rod Thorn said as he rushed to his car yesterday, sighing heavily and rolling his eyes.

The trade for Kidd, originally announced last week, fell through when Devean George, one of the Mavericks players involved, exercised a clause in his contract that voided the deal. Ever since, the two sides have been trying to come up with another exchange.

"You know what? I tried to do the right thing, and ... whatever," Thorn said as he plowed through reporters on his way to his vehicle. "I'm done. If you want Jason Kidd traded, do it your own Goddamn self. Son of a bitch."

Thorn then slammed the car door and sped off.

Mavericks GM Donn Nelson said, "It just wasn't working out. We took George out of the mix, then tried to put in Adrian Dantley, but Adrian's status as being retired for over 10 years nixed that offer. Then the Nets said they'd take Dantley, as long as we took Micheal Ray Richardson, but that didn't seem like much of an improvement, so we said no. Then we offered to not sign Jerry Stackhouse after the Nets bought out his contract in 30 days, but I couldn't actually say that without grinning, which killed that. Then we started to ask ourselves, do we REALLY need Jason Kidd? I mean, is it worth all this hassle?"

Kidd says he still would welcome a trade to the Mavericks.

"DUH," he said after practice. "S**t, I'd welcome a trade to the freaking Washington Generals at this point," Kidd said in reference to the long-time straight men to the Harlem Globetrotters. "That little s**t Devean George. Why, I'd like to ...," Kidd added, balling his right hand into a fist and smacking it into his left palm several times.

Thorn, according to sources, reportedly told Nelson to "bite me" when talks broke down Saturday night, before slamming the phone down.

"They can kiss my New Jersey ass," Thorn said of the Mavs, according to the sources.

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