Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Red Sox Hire Stephen King To Write Rest Of ALCS

Boston, MA. (Oct. 14) - Frustrated with their inability to shoo away the Tampa Bay Rays in the American League Championship Series, the Boston Red Sox have struck a deal with horror story author and longtime Red Sox fan Stephen King to pen the remainder of the best-of-seven series.

The series, which the Rays now lead, 2-1, thanks to a 9-1 win in Game 3 in Boston, will now head for a bone-chilling, gripping climax that "only Stephen King can provide," according to Red Sox spokesman Matt Stewart.

"It's going to be something you'll never forget," Stewart said this morning at team headquarters. "There'll be internal struggles set as a backdrop to some pretty freaking scary plot devices," Stewart said, referring to King's script, which is "in process."

The best-selling author got the hurry-up call in the sixth inning of Game 3, instructed by Red Sox owner John Henry to "whip something up" in time for tonight's Game 4. Sources close to King said that the writer was up all night working on the treatment for the script of the rest of the series.

Red Sox fan and horror writer Stephen King does some research for his new ALCS project, set to debut tonight on Fox Sports

Insiders indicated that Rays outfielder B.J. Upton and rookie third baseman Evan Longoria will make a bad turn and wander into a dark, desolate part of the Tampa Bay clubhouse, where they will meet a "grisly yet ironic demise." The sources also told reporters to look for a crazed, deranged Red Sox fan who "will stop at nothing to further his agenda", as well as a subplot featuring Red Sox slugger David Ortiz's relationship with a female friend "careening out of control." Several different players, wives, girlfriends, and team officials will all have their lives intersect during the climactic Game 7 -- a game in which spectators will not be allowed admittance after the fourth inning.

King has told insiders that his vision for the rest of the series includes some of the games being played in thunderstorms and in the woods.

"This will be the Red Sox's best ALCS ever," Stewart crowed of King's involvement in the outcome.

Any Ray player or official, or umpire, who tries to interfere with King's version of the rest of the series will be captured and confined to a bed by Kathy Bates, Stewart said.

King's vehicle, titled Stephen King's ALCS: No Rays Of Light, will open at 8:07 p.m. tonight on Fox Sports.

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