Thursday, September 18, 2008

0-2 Chiefs Change QB, Offensive Coordinator, Playbook, Head Usher, Socks, Color Scheme, Receptionist, Official Gum In Big Shake-Up

Kansas City, MO. (Sept. 18) - Calling the team's 0-2 start "unacceptable", Kansas City Chiefs chairman Clark Hunt said the team's shake up wouldn't stop at changing quarterbacks.

In addition to replacing former starting QB Damon Huard with Tyler Thigpen for this Sunday's tilt with the Atlanta Falcons, Hunt said that offensive coordinator Chan Gailey would be replaced by former Chiefs great Len Dawson. But the changes don't end there.

The team's playbook, which had been in a red, 3" three-ring binder separated by rainbow-colored dividers and yellow tabs, will be replaced by a sleeker, "more leathery" spiral binder with, what Hunt called, "very cool" pockets in both the front and back.

The shake up also includes the replacement of longtime head usher Fred Garrison with Thomas Hewitt, an aggressive, 26-year-old "up-and-coming" usher who Hunt said would take the team's ushering in a "bold, new direction." Hunt said Hewitt will make ushering "fun again", and Hunt promised "more and friendlier" usher-fan interaction.

"I think part of our inability to win has been due to a confrontational relationship between our team and its fan base," Hunt said in explaining the change at the top of the usher personnel. "With Tommy, I think we can have more harmony in the stands, which should lead to a more universal acceptance of our team's state right now."

Hunt also announced that the team's socks would change from Hanes to JC Penney, and that the color scheme, which for years had been scarlett and gold, would change to red and mustard.

"The colors of ketchup and mustard," Hunt said. "Which goes back to making our fans more comfortable to go to our concession stands for hot dogs, guided of course by our friendlier ushers, led by Tommy Hewitt."

Team receptionist Amy Lowell is also out, another victim of the shake up.

"Amy's been great, but it's time to have our visitors greeted by someone more...good looking, frankly. Amy's sweet, but she is kind of dowdy looking."

Hunt said Lowell would be replaced by Heather Kimball, a 21-year-old intern who will take over receptionist duties on September 22.

"Heather's hot," Hunt said.

Heather Kimball, the Chiefs' new receptionist, who will take over on September 22 in a big team shake up

The official gum is also changing, from Big League Chew to Bazooka.

"I love those little comic strips that come with each piece," Hunt explained.

Head coach Herm Edwards, when asked about the huge makeover, said, "I'm all about winning. If Clark Hunt thinks we can neutralize the Falcons' running game and confuse their rookie quarterback, Matt Ryan, wearing JC Penney socks and chewing Bazooka, then I'm on board."

When pressed about the more football-related aspects of the shake up, such as the replacement of Huard by Thigpen, Edwards said, "Oh -- that. Well, yeah. I'm sure that will play into it, too."

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