Monday, July 7, 2008

Mannings' Bid To Be Most Annoying Sports Family Ever Nearing Completion

New York, NY. (July 7) - The Manning family, which includes father Archie and quarterback-playing sons Eli and Peyton, have targeted 2008's opening day of the NFL season as the date that they'll officially become sports' most annoying family.

"If not sooner," said Archie during a break in shooting a series of 45 new ESPN SportsCenter commercials. "After we leave here we're going right to Atlanta to shoot a bunch of whimsical promos for CNN, and then it's off to the Major League Baseball All-Star Game in New York," Archie Manning added, referring to he and his sons throwing out the first, second, and third pitches of the mid-summer classic.

The Mannings lead all of professional sports in the relatively new statistic called Images Per Minute, or IPM.

"It's a way to gauge any family's exposure," notes IPM founder and developer Randall Borders. "Right now, the Mannings hold a sizeable lead over the Williams sisters in tennis. And their agenda clearly shows an intent to not only hold on to that lead, but to build on it."

Borders says that the Mannings' current IPM is .24, meaning that the Mannings appear on television or on the radio or in the newspapers roughly .24 times a minute. Translated, the Mannings thus enter our psyche approximately once every 2.5 minutes. Compare this to the Williams sisters' IPM, which sits at just .11 -- and you can see how far ahead the Mannings are in IPM.

A recent image shows the aggressive, virulent Manning strain of sports family; "They seem resistant to fatigue," Borders says

"The Mannings figured to have a banner year in IPM when the year began," Borders says. "But after Eli's Giants won the Super Bowl, their IPM spiked higher than we anticipated."

The Mannings, according to research released by the IPM institute, have appeared in 212 different commercials, print ads, and radio spots, combined, since January 1, 2008. They have, so far, recorded nearly 100 humorous ESPN SportsCenter promos, and are contracted to do cross-promotion for several Disney, Pixar, and Universal films between now and early-2009. This is in addition to countless voice-over work for various local car dealerships, banks, and sporting goods stores, not to mention public service announcements for over 30 different charities, illnesses, and male medical conditions.

"This may be the most insistent, aggressive strain of sports family that we've ever seen," Borders says with an ominous tone of the Mannings. "They currently seem to be resistant to any form of fatigue, jet lag, or to being overwhelmed with multiple requests for their time. This is bordering on a pandemic," Borders says.

Archie Manning doesn't see what all the fuss is about.

"Heck, we just love bein' on TV," he said with a chuckle.

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